What is your leadership style?

When you think about leadership, what springs to mind? Most of us think about the top chief executives in companies, great visionaries and those high up in public view. For me, the likes of Barack Obama, Lord Sugar and  Margaret Thatcher (whatever your thoughts on them individually) have demonstrated very different but definite leadership!  However, if you look at both your working and personal life you might be surprised to find that for most of us, leadership is something we do regularly and often don’t realise! So what is your leadership style and who do you lead?


Whether it be a family gathering, parenting a child, organising a trip or supporting colleagues, we all lead in some way at some time. Does the same style always work? No. We must be adaptable to be successful!

There are four main styles of leadership that most people will use at any one time:

• Directing/Telling 
• Coaching/Selling
• Supporting/Participating
• Delegating

 Directing and telling may be completely appropriate if you want your child to put their shoes on before going out in the snow! But is directing without consultation always the most effective approach with a teenager studying for exams? Similarly in a work environment, at times decisiveness is necessary but knowing when to step back and delegate a task, or when  support/coaching is required makes for a successful leader! 


For many individuals I have coached, poor leadership at work can be an exhausting drain on energy and resourcefulness. More people leave managers than leave jobs! Whilst we cannot change the behaviour of others directly, knowing more about our own ability to lead and adaptable styles can help us to be more effective within our sphere of influence. What kind of leader would you like to work for?

If you want to find out more about your own leadership style try out ‘Inspirational Leadership: Insight into Action’ at  www.inspiredleadership.org.uk and click ‘new user’. See what you discover today!

Source: Ann Skidmore: 'Coaching Leadership' at The Coaching Academy

I can make you thin??

After several years of queuing up at one slimming club or another and developing experience as a coach about what really motivates people to make changes I decided it was time for something radically different. No more calories, points, shakes, ‘syns’ and fads, what would really work in the battle of the bulge that won’t budge??  So, on 19th February 2011 I attended an event deliberately designed to draw in the hopeless dieter professing’ I CAN MAKE YOU THIN!!!’ courtesy of Mr Paul McKenna.

Welcome to the simplest yet apparently most effective system. Just four golden rules:

1.     When you are hungry go and EAT

2.     Eat what you want, not what you think you should

3.     Eat Consciously, (slowly) enjoying every mouthful

4.    When you are full, STOP eating

To the naturally slim reader this sounds like common sense right?  Essentially, it is. However those of us who have been brainwashed into believing the dieting mantra of thousands of books, clubs and shakes haven’t quite got there. We have instead gladly handed over lots of money, temporarily shifted some of those illusive pounds before getting disheartened, fed up, stopping the ‘plan’ and gaining it all back! Oh the joys of the calorie count…Paul McKenna’s mantra suggests that ‘dieting is a lesson in how to get fat and feel like a failure’. I concur.

What did this event teach me? Firstly, the golden rules as above – the most important of which he states is slowing the eating pace down to about ¼ of the usual speed. This is about getting in touch with your ‘physical hunger’ and recognising that weight gain is not, I repeat not, about the food! It is about habits we develop over time that are unhelpful. Bored, upset, sad, happy, stressed – if you link emotions to eating, things get out of sync.

It isn’t so easy in reality to shift these habits, but Paul McKenna’s event lightens the mood on this issue. It is ok to laugh at the habits developed and to seek support to change them. His books all come with a hypnosis cd called the ‘mind programming technique’. The cd is relaxing and helps reinforce the positive messages from the event to help you feel good about yourself and embed the above principles. (You don’t have to attend a live event to benefit from this).

Having attended the event and listened to the cd I am feeling great! I have found myself eating less but actually enjoying food instead of feeling guilty. I am recognising when the hunger signals kick in, when I am full and I have stopped berating myself every time I dare to tuck into something really tasty and usually forbidden!

As a coach, I am already aware of the importance of setting specific goals and visualising success. Therefore I am a fan of anything that helps with that. Paul Mckenna – I am a fan. 

How to deal with rejection in the workplace...

It has become clear to me that how we respond to failure is one of the most significant factors in determining success.

So, what are the key learning points when dealing with rejection in a work environment?

1. Deal with the emotional aspect of this rejection

It is disappointing if we put ourselves out there, go for a new role or seek progression and get knocked back. When we feel an emotion it has a purpose, a message. It will keep knocking until you hear it, so listen to it and acknowledge how you feel about the situation. People often experience upset, disappointment, frustration, regret or even relief when rejection hits. This can give you a valuable insight into how much you want the progression you are seeking (or not) and be a powerful driving force for future success. 

2. Stay positive and don’t allow any resentment or bitterness to show at work.

This can be easier said than done! There is no harm in showing the disappointment you feel about rejection at work however frame this in the positive i.e. how can I use this as a learning experience and do better next time? If you appear angry, bitter or jealous of others progression this may leave an unhelpful impression with the ‘powers that be’.

3. Ask for feedback on how you could improve/achieve your goal in future

Requesting and responding appropriately to feedback demonstrates both maturity and continued ambition. This is a great opportunity to find out why you didn’t make it this time, what are the ‘interviewers’ or boss looking for before you will get that promotion or new role so you can begin working on it.

4. Take action on the feedback

You may find you cannot take all steps immediately but you can do something. For example, if opportunities for promotion only come along every so often you may have to wait before applying again. However, consider the feedback and identify what you can do in the short and long term in preparation for future success. Begin to work on this and seek opportunities to meet this need.

5. Recognise your strengths

When faced with rejection it can be difficult to recognise your existing skills and strengths. Reflect on what you have done well so far, any positive feedback you received and begin to re-focus on the future. You get more of what you focus on and as a result, focusing on strengths and success breeds more strength and success!!